Divorce is generally experienced as a process full of anger, reproach, disappointment and sadness. These feelings can be extremely destructive and traumatic for both divorced people and children. Divorced spouses may need support in the process of adapting to their new life and getting used to their new life with their children. Especially in the children of divorced couples, when the divorce process is not managed well, the children may experience very serious problems both in their relations with the opposite sex and in their social relations, since their security and self-concepts are damaged in the later stages of their lives. It is seen that the divorce rate of the children of divorced parents is quite high after starting a family. A well-managed divorce process prevents this period from causing serious psychological damage, especially for children, and enables the divorced couple to adapt to their new lives more easily.

Divorce;

It is a legal phenomenon. Regarding legal issues (custody, alimony),

It is an emotional phenomenon. About the couple's estrangement from each other,

It is an economic phenomenon. Regarding money and property,

It is a social phenomenon. Regarding changes in friendships and social activities

It is a psychological phenomenon. It is an event related to the problems of finding oneself by regaining independence. Trying to overcome things alone in a process where so many facts are together is to move forward alone on an irreversible path. It is a decision that needs to be made with a lot of thought.

Psycho-Social Effects of Divorce

While marriage creates a socially accepted and status-enhancing effect for individuals (being a wife, being a husband-wife, being a parent, etc.) Divorced men lower their status to wives. The personality structures of the spouses, their ages, whether they have children, whether they have a profession, income and social support directly affect how this process will be experienced.

In almost all divorces, both men and women experience an emotional breakdown. In the process leading up to the decision to divorce, most of the time, men and women hurt each other mutually. Therefore, both parties perceive each other as undesirable. Individuals with addicted, borderline, histronic, paranoid, avoidant and narcissistic characteristics will have the most difficulty in accepting this process.

Divorce is a phenomenon with the highest stress score after the death of the spouse in the ranking of life events. In this context, divorce can be experienced as a loss, like a process following the death of a family member in terms of the "Mourning theory". This process, which includes the stages of Shock and Denial, Boredom, Restlessness and Withdrawal, Reconstruction, may not always be completed at this time. The individual who cannot reach the stage of "restructuring", which is considered as the acceptance stage, may experience psycho-social problems of varying intensity and frequency. Suicide, the feeling of emptiness is one of the most serious problems of this process.

Divorce and Children

Spouses who have children will no longer have to maintain their parenting roles without being together. The role of “parenting” arising from being a spouse will no longer be maintained without being a spouse. It will not be easy to explain this situation to children, to make them understand and accept it. They give reactions. From denying divorce, to blame and blame oneself, and then to blame their parents; introversion, indifference, aggression, outbursts of anger, instability, rapid declines in academic achievement, tendency to substance and anti-social behaviors, etc. psychosocial problems begin to appear.

It is useful to carefully monitor the "sleeper effect" of divorce on spouses and children. While divorced spouses first plan to live their lives in a sense of sudden relief and freedom of achievement, a decrease in quality of life and comfort can be observed, especially for men. In this period, it is useful to apply to a professional, to cope with feelings of anger, loss and depression, and the feeling of emptiness.

If we consider that the couples who broke up due to some reasons are in conflict even after the separation, they should be in contact with their children in some way. Parental consensus is important; because every unresolved conflict between parents makes it difficult for children to adapt to this separation. I would like to emphasize that parents should not overlook this point during the post-divorce period, as it is an extremely important issue for the child.

In addition, each stage of the divorce process brings a separate pain, if you are having difficulties at this point, you can make this process easier for yourself and your children by getting professional help. Support and assistance to families who have decided to divorce in this complex and difficult process is of great importance at every stage. In the process after the divorce; In the transition to a new life, living it satisfactorily, a relationship that you think will heal you.